For many years mother had been
largely implicated for the emergence of autism. Using the term "cold
mother", it was made a reference to mothers who were not emotionally
available during the first year of raising the child, as a result, the
child turns in upon himself/herself and he/she cannot ever achieve to develop a normal bond with his/her
mother.
In families with children who
have a developmental disorder, such as autism, the particularly stressful
situations they experience and additionally the impact on these families should
be carefully taken into account. An important role plays the relationship that is
developed between parents and the child, and especially the relationship between
mother and child, since the mother is the central person who deals with the
daily care and the development of the child (Nazire, 1995).
However, this does not mean
that maternal behavior and her attitudes are a causal factor for the occurrence
of autism. The attitude of the parents is simply an aggravating factor, as the
child with autism needs adherence, support and emotional security. The fact
that the child does not express his/her own feelings, does not mean that he/she
does not need any expression of emotions from the others toward himself/herself.
And as long as he/she can sometimes react or ignore the feelings of the others,
we should not forget that it is important to look for the right way to offer the
feelings he/she needs. For certain, he/she needs an emotional relationship with
his/her parents. What is necessary for the child is: more time and patience to
trust them, that’s why he/she tests people a lot until he/she is emotionally
open.
The relationship that is
developed between the mother and the child with autism differs from a
relationship with a child without autism, as this relationship is influenced by
the behavior and the reactions of the child. A child with autism is defending
against external stimuli, while he/she avoids and ignores everything that is
being introduced into his/her space or into his/her environment concerning
objects or people.
The autistic child is
particularly disturbed by the feelings which are caused by the people around
him/her, and this is why he/she has difficulty in relationships, starting with
the relationship with the mother. In addition, the child has a difficulty to
integrate new stimuli into the shapes of his/her sensory representations. The
autistic child avoids individuals, as they are related to the emotional life, the
change, the stimulation of the sensations and the emotions (Synodinou, 2001).
The autistic child abominates the mother's face and everything connected with
the maternal care, and later he/she avoids every contact and interaction with
whatever is alive. Andre Green, based on Freud's work, claims that this
behavior of the child with autism concerns a kind of perception that is not
linked to consciousness and it is a form of negative illusion. The stimuli that
the child receives may be traumatic to him / her. The traumatic element can be
expressed by spasms (body twitching) or avoiding eye contact while there is a
connection between the instinct and the trauma experienced by the child.
Moreover, in a child with autism, the instinct does not find its object and
this leads to a situation of painful absence (Synodinou, 2001).
The non-recognition of the significant
other by the autistic child, and in particular the non-recognition of the
mother, is a defense mechanism in which the child is not recognized by mother.
In addition, the non-recognition of a significant other is an attempt of
identification with a mother who does not recognize. "A mother who does
not reflect her child, a child who does not reflect his/her mother, an erased
mirror in another erased mirror, in the interior part of another erased mirror ..." (Synodinou,
2001, p. 18). This way of perception and understanding of the mother by the
child does not help in developing a healthy relationship. The behavior and the reactions
of the child with autism, this long lasting defense mechanism that
characterizes him/her, prevent the approach to the mother, and the emotional
interaction. The child with autism defends against everything that could be
considered as dangerous for his/her mental economy. By avoiding the other
living existence, the child with autism avoids every living element inside him/her,
while the defensive autistic attitude is an indication of the anticathexis
(anti-investment) toward the somatopsychic memory trace of the contact with the
mother (Synodinou, 2001).
In addition, in the
cohabitation of the mother with the child with autism, there is a mutual
indifference. The mother is emotionally removed from the child while the child
is emotionally removed from the mother. This removal is a defense in a large mutual
cathexis (investment) where, if this had ever taken place in reality, it could have
drowned them. In this relationship, both seem to be far from each other, both
in space and in communication (Synodinou, 2001).
The child with autism
feels terrified for actions and activities that
require emotional engagement as well as for the social interactions. He/she cannot
develop a healthy bond with the mother as he/she avoids external stimuli, disdains
persons, and avoids the contact and the interaction. The child with autism is
emotionally absent and unavailable. But this should not discourage the ardency, the tenderness and the warmth from the mother's side. The child with
autism needs an emotionally available and present mother despite the fact that
he/she cannot manage what he/she feels. One thing is for sure: the child with autism FEELS…
Bibliography
Naziri, D. (1995). Father and child with special
needs. In M. Kaila, N. Polemicos & G. Philippou (Ed.), Persons with
Disabilities (Volume A), (pp. 156-162). Athens: Greek Letters.
Synodinou, K.
(2001). Children's autism. Therapeutic approach. Athens: Kastaniotis
Publications.
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